Let's Talk Pregnancy and the 1st Trimester!

**Disclaimer: I am writing about my experience during pregnancy so as to bring light and comfort to others. I am in no way an expert nor do I follow all the "rules." And while I appreciate advice (oh so much!) please do not criticize or judge my decisions that I have made about and or during my pregnancy. I promise each action that is made has been fully researched and thought about. Thank you :) :)


   Oh the first trimester....... It sounds ridiculous but who knew it could be so difficult. *Feel free to laugh at my naïveté.* But REALLY!! You know that scene in "What to Expect When You're Expecting" when Elizabeth Banks is having a melt down in front of an entire audience? The one part that sticks out to me is when she says "pregnancy sucks". Before becoming pregnant I thought to myself "is she crazy? I would give anything to be pregnant" but now, at my measly 15 something weeks, I kind of understand. And from what I hear of others experiences, I had it easy! Don't get me wrong, I am so abundantly thankful and praising the Lord that I get to be pregnant and I cannot wait to meet our baby but one cannot truly understand what the first trimester of pregnancy is until one has experienced it. And therefore, one should not judge a first trimester ridden girl when she goes to the commissary with wet hair and no make-up wearing athletic shorts and a college t-shirt looking like she was just hit by an Italian compact car. ;)
 
   So what, one might ask, does the first trimester bring? I'm talking constipation, gas,  joint pain, nausea, headaches, oily skin and hair, bladder issues, fear... ecetera ecetera! Not to mention the fact that I didn't touch my husband for weeks because I was NOT having sex with him when I felt bloated, nauseous, gassy, and whatever else. He was so kind, I mean imagine this poor man who has (or had) a good home life and he went from one end of the wife spectrum to the exact opposite end. Dishes piled up in the sink, our laundry mound reached halfway between the floor and ceiling and the house looked like Pig Pen and his dust storm had come rolling through. There would be days that he would come home and the first remark I would make when he walked in was "sorry, I haven't gotten off the couch much less brushed my teeth or taken a shower, just giving you a warning before you kiss me", this was at like 4 in the afternoon!!! Then came the food aversions and sensitivity to smell which resulted in husband making any and all meals and me eating gold fish and saltines while sucking down ginger ale. Seriously, there would be days that I would eat nothing other than saltines, gold fish and pretzels. There was even a day that my husband walked through the commissary with a gallon sized goldfish carton and 12 pack of ginger ale in his hands. If that doesn't scream "pregnant wife" I'm not sure what does! And finally, traveling during the first trimester is hard. We went on one trip and that's all it took to discourage us from traveling again during the first trimester. We thought it would be a great idea to spend 4th of July Weekend in Germany and while it wasn't all bad and I am glad we got out of our house, I pretty much sat in bed while Dave did everything by himself. Poor guy.
   Even with the very minor difficulties I had I look back on the first weeks of this pregnancy and laugh. I laugh at how ridiculously mislead I had been about the first trimester. I laugh about how pitiful my husband's life was. I laugh because there would be days that I wouldn't have enough energy to get off the couch to go to the bathroom. I laugh because it is truly humorous what women go through to carry the next generation. And I super laugh when people who have not been through this expect you to carry on like you're not about to dry heave at the smell of their perfume or drop dead from a massive headache. I laugh mainly because what else am I going to do, I might as well look at it with humor. With everything said here are things that helped me through the first trimester. And again I am not an expert nor will everyone agree with my advice but it's what worked for me.

1. Ginger ale and lots of it! We took a 24 pack to Germany with us.......for a 3 day visit.

2. Peppermints, the circle starburst looking kind. They helped me so much! I would pop one of those suckers in my mouth and my nausea would almost instantly leave.

3. Coffee (what?!) ok, yes this is controversial and to each their own but after my first ultrasound (at 9 weeks) I added my coffee back into my day. Not everyday and not as much as before but it helped me through my extreme fatigued times. (I drank like 5 oz maybe 3 times a week) Because when your husband is bored and dying to move off the couch, you're going to need something.

4. Find someone to be your pregnancy mentor. I am blessed enough to have great friends and family that don't mind me calling in a complete panic because I think something is wrong. So find someone you trust and that won't think you're super crazy.

5. Do not stop everything in your life! I thought I couldn't do anything (not because I didn't feel like it but because every time I researched something it seemed "off limits") but yes you can lift your crock pot, yes you can lift your trash, yes you can vacuum vigorously. You can do it all as long as it's within reason. I wouldn't advise going around lifting tables or 50 lb weights but some things just have to be lifted. I wouldn't lift my crock pot to even wash it! Why? I feared lifting things (and well anything) would make me miscarry. Here's the thing and this was a hard lesson for me like most things are but you cannot fear everything! Living in a bubble is not worth the isolation you will feel because of it!

6. With the above latter statement said: take your husband to his favorite meal. This was a problem and huge fear for me for awhile because what is my husband's favorite meal??? SUSHI (cue the dramatic music...dun dun dunhhhh) here's the thing, when your husband isn't getting sex, home cooked meals, a clean house and is having to wash his own clothes, you owe him BIG TIME. His love tank is so empty, it's not even funny. I know the issues that can arise with raw food and I know about cross contamination but again living in a bubble is not going to work. And for the record we went to our regular place and I asked and investigated myself that the chefs prepared veggie and cooked sushi on a separate surface from the raw stuff.

7. Don't feel bad if you don't exercise. I had someone tell me "the best way to get over pregnancy fatigue is getting your heart rate up" and while I appreciate the advice and while it might work for others, I am not that person. When I feel bad, I'm not moving. So do not feel guilty if you cannot or don't want to exercise in the first trimester. You're creating a human. And in my opinion, unless you are in a super air conditioned gym (which the one here is definitely not), when it is 90+ degrees outside with 100% humidity, it just really isn't a good idea. It is so difficult staying hydrated in the first place but adding on extreme summer weather will make it 10 times more difficult. With that said, just make sure you're eating as healthy as possible because it is easy to get out of control.

8. Give yourself some wiggle room, in the form of clothing! Maybe it's because I bloated a lot or maybe I gained weight quickly but it wasn't too soon after finding out I was pregnant that my pants were too tight. I'm 5'1 in height so there's not much room for everything to distribute evenly, therefore I grow outward. I lived in gym shorts, dresses, yoga pants and with my regular pants unbuttoned for weeks. Don't worry, I usually waited until I got in the car to unbutton my pants but there were a few times I had to do it at the dinner table and I am not ashamed!

9. Don't feel bad about the twix bars, no bakes and pretzel rolls you eat. Let's face it, unless you are gaining a whole pregnancy worth of weight in the first trimester it is perfectly fine to succumb to your cravings. I would eat as healthy as I could but when I wanted a twix (or 2) I ate them. And just for the record, I plan on exercising in my 2nd and 3rd trimester ;)

10. Finally, carry around a bag with you that has everything you need to get through a "bad" day. There would be days that I would start out feeling great (more towards the end) and then all of a sudden I made a turn for the worse. In my bag I kept these items; Ginger ale (2 cans), bag of peppermints, water, light snacks, saltines, an extra plastic baggy (I never threw up but just in case), and a hairbrush. The hairbrush wasn't related to pregnancy, by the way. haha I carried this bag to Church, to meetings, to the post office, grocery shopping and to dinners. It probably looked odd but I was ready for anything!

 So that's the first trimester! I hope this post doesn't scare anyone about pregnancy. I can honestly say that every time I feel terrible or am so bloated that I feel like I could burst I look at my ultrasound photo and think how amazing it is that I am creating life inside of me and also how something the size of a grape can create all these symptoms. And I can't help but to think how it is all worth it because in the end a beautiful half me and half my husband joins us on this Earth. I am truly thankful and I hope to be able to go through it all again someday with our second child!

Here's my only photo from the 1st trimester, I started showing around 11 weeks :) Pardon me because I do not have make-up on haha